This Won't Do At All! | Part One

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Title: This Won't Do At All!
Author: mercury_pheonix 
Genre: Crack!Fic, Children of Earth Fix-It
Characters: Ianto Jones, The Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond, Rory Williams, Disgruntled Tourists, A Very Confused Seagull
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Some language, some sexual references
Spoilers: All series: a basic knowledge of Doctor Who: Series 5, Children of Earth, and the Cardiff Bay area in general would help, but aren't required.
Summary: When the Doctor mistakenly lands his companions in Wales at the beginning of the 21st Century, he realises that someone, somewhere, has made a very silly mistake indeed...

Part One: "So, let me get this straight. Instead of Rio, or an alien planet, or a far off galaxy, or a valley made of chocolate and honeycomb…you offer me Wales. Wales, Doctor. And not even Wales when it was interesting, but Wales now!"